You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
