Sponge bath it is.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
