he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
