that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
