if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So much rum. So many feels.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
