i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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