Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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