K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
