Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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