Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i dont even know how to be here
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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