The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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