the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
