I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
