ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
