Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
