My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
