my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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