dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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