Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
