Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
