She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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