they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We got so high we made milksteak
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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