I think my fart just growled at me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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