smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm getting married
To pizza
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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