Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
