what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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