Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
