I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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