On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
