We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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