Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
