Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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