names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
