Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
