You're so nebulous sometimes
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
