You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
