Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
third nipple confirmed
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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