Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
