i don't plan on having that self control this summer
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
