Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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