Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
