So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize