I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
