She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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