She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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