He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the condom got lost in my hair
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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