She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There's always time for handjobs
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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