She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
