I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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