I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
