You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
