ugly people sure do ruin things
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm both gender and math confused
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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