I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
