That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
