do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
