so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
