If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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