my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
