i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
