So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
