If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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