After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
